In “Count Your Contradictions”, Hubert Hermans challenges the thought that we must resolve every contradiction. Instead, he highlights the idea of seeing them as valuable opportunities that help us understand ourselves and the world around us better and deeper. This blog will explore how understanding and working through our inner contradictions can lead to personal growth and share simple steps that help you navigate them.
The Nature of Inner Contradictions
Inner contradictions arise from the complexity of human nature. We are not singular beings with linear desires; instead, we are multidimensional, with competing needs, values, and emotions. For example:
- The Desire for Freedom vs. The Need for Connection: You may yearn for independence yet feel incomplete without close relationships.
- Perfection vs. Imperfection: While you hustle for excellence, you may also find joy in the authenticity of flaws.
- Certainty vs. Uncertainty: You may seek stability yet feel drawn to the excitement of exploring the unknown.
According to Hermans, these contradictions are not flaws to be eliminated. Instead, they hold the potential for psychological richness, helping us expand our consciousness and navigate life’s complexities with greater depth.
How Contradictions Contribute to Self-Discovery
1. They Reveal Hidden Aspects of Ourselves
Contradictions often occur when different parts of our identity clash. For instance, the tension between the desire to succeed and the fear of failure could highlight beliefs about our self-worth. Exploring these contradictions can uncover deeper truths about who we are.
2. They Broaden Our Perspective
When we approach contradictions as learning opportunities, we become open to multiple viewpoints. This openness leads us towards empathy, creativity, and a more refined understanding of the world.
3. They Inspire Growth
Contradictions push our thoughts to move beyond the way we think. They expand our perspective and broaden our horizons. This process not only strengthens our ability and resilience but also a deeper understanding of self-awareness and a more refined understanding of the world around us.
Finding Opportunities from Contradictions
Understanding contradictions requires a transition in mindset. Here’s how you can navigate inner contradiction to unlock their growth potential:
1. Recognize and Name the Contradiction
The first step is to identify the opposing forces at play. Ask yourself:
- What is contradictive in me?
- What are the two sides of this contradiction?
For example, if you’re struggling with a decision, you might realize the tension between your desire for security and your longing for adventure.
2. Accept Both Sides Without Judgment
Contradictions aren’t issues to fix but aspects of your identity to recognize and accept. Instead of labeling one side as “good” and the other as “bad,” honor both viewpoints equally.
Contradiction is not referred to as a problem to resolve or an issue to fix. Rather it’s a part of your identity to be acknowledged. Instead of putting a label on one side as “good” and the other as “bad”, honor both viewpoints equally. For instance:
- “I value stability, and I also value taking risks. Both are important to me.”
3. Explore the Insights Hidden Within
Together, the different sides a contradiction offer valuable insights. Reflect on questions like:
- What does each side represent in my life?
- What can I learn from holding both perspectives?
This process allows you to view contradictions as sources of wisdom rather than barriers.
4. Find a Way to Integrate Both Sides
Rather than choosing one side over the other, look for ways to balance both.
For example:
- If you’re dividing between independence and connection, set aside time for self-care while nurturing your relationships.
- If you value perfection but struggle with imperfection, aim for excellence while celebrating progress over perfection.
5. Experiment and Reflect
Your contradictions are dynamic, just like life itself. Try a variety of strategies to see what suits you the best. Reflect on your experiences on a regular basis to improve your comprehension and discover inner equilibrium.
Practical Exercises for Working with Contradictions
Here are some exercises to help you engage with your contradictions:
1. Journaling
Write about a contradiction you’re experiencing. For example:
- What are the two opposing forces?
- How does each side serve or challenge you?
- What would it look like to accept and integrate both?
2. Dialogue with Yourself
Imagine a conversation between the two sides of your contradiction. Let each side express its perspective and needs. This exercise helps you understand the motivations behind your inner contradiction.
3. Mindfulness Meditation
Spare time to sit quietly with your contradictions in a non-judgmental way. Use your mind and emotions, instead of dividing them. This could create a safe mental space for understanding and acceptance, leading to greater clarity.
Living a Life Complement by Contradictions
By working with inner contradictions, you can transform them into opportunities for growth. This approach has far-reaching benefits:
- In Relationships: Acknowledging contradictions within yourself makes you more empathetic and understanding of others’ complexities. It also makes you more able to deal with the contradictions in our society.
- In Decision-Making: Navigating contradictions helps you make balanced choices that honor all aspects of your identity.
- In Personal Growth: Exploring contradictions deepens your self-awareness and psychological richness.
Conclusion
Inner contradictions are not flaws to resolve but treasures to uncover. As Hubert Hermans teaches in Count Your Contradictions, they hold the key to self-discovery and personal growth. By recognizing, validating, and working with opposing forces, you can cultivate a richer, more fulfilling life and better adapt to a confusing society.
So the next time you find yourself torn between two choices or desires, pause and ask: “What can this contradiction teach me about myself?” “What can they teach me about the contradictions in other people and in society at large?” You may discover that the answers lie not in choosing one side but in finding meaning in both.